Tag: #healing

Gardening · Gardening
Lulu LeeLeave a comment

Garden Update: Some Wins, Some Lessons

This week in the garden has been a mix of encouragement and frustration. Some of my plants are thriving while others are clearly struggling, and honestly, I think the strange weather has a lot to do with it.

My spinach and okra have not been doing well at all. The spinach started bolting and looking stressed almost overnight, and the okra just seems unhappy no matter what I try. Between the random temperature swings, heavy rain, cooler nights, and sudden heat, I think the plants are having a hard time adjusting. Gardening really teaches patience because sometimes you can do everything “right” and nature still has other plans.

Thankfully, not everything is struggling. The potatoes are making steady progress and the corn is finally starting to look strong and established. My tomatoes are filling out nicely, the peppers are slowly taking off, and the peanuts are doing much better than I expected. Seeing those little wins helps balance out the disappointment of losing or struggling with other crops.

One thing I’m learning this season is that every garden tells a story. Some plants thrive in certain conditions while others refuse to cooperate. Instead of looking at setbacks as failures, I’m trying to see them as lessons for the next season. I may end up restarting the okra in a different area with more heat, and I’ll probably wait until cooler temperatures return before trying another round of spinach.

Even with the challenges, I still enjoy walking through the garden every morning. There’s something peaceful about watching things grow slowly over time. Progress may not always look perfect, but progress is still progress.

What’s growing well in your garden right now?

Marine Corps Historic Half: Progress Over Perfection
Health & Fitness · Health & Fitness

Marine Corps Historic Half: Progress Over Perfection

Lulu LeeLeave a comment

There’s something humbling about lining up at the starting line of the Marine Corps Historic Half knowing that the weather may test you just as much as the distance itself.

This year’s race was warmer than expected, and I knew early on that trying to force the pace I originally planned for would have probably ended badly. Instead of fighting my body, I listened to it. I adjusted my pace, focused on consistency, and reminded myself that endurance is just as much mental as it is physical.

And honestly? That decision paid off.

I finished the race more than 10 minutes faster than I did last year.

That improvement means a lot to me because it wasn’t about suddenly becoming an elite runner overnight. It came from months of small decisions:

  • showing up even when I was tired,
  • training after long shifts,
  • learning how to recover properly,
  • and being willing to adapt instead of quitting.

Two things that genuinely helped me this training season were Strava and Runna. Strava helped me stay accountable and track my progress over time, while Runna gave me more structure and helped me train with intention instead of just running aimlessly.

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning as a runner is that every race day requires flexibility. You can train for months, but weather, stress, sleep, nutrition, and life itself will still influence performance. The goal is not perfection. The goal is learning how to adapt without giving up.

Some miles felt strong.
Some miles felt long.
Some hills still humbled me.

But I kept going.

Crossing that finish line reminded me how important it is to celebrate progress, even when the journey doesn’t look flawless. Last year’s version of me would be proud of how far I’ve come physically and mentally.

Running has become more than exercise for me. It has become proof that growth happens slowly, quietly, and often long before anyone else can see it.

And this race reminded me that I’m stronger than I think.

What Helped Me Most This Training Cycle

  • Structured training plans
  • Slowing down on recovery days
  • Adjusting for weather conditions
  • Staying consistent instead of chasing perfection
  • Listening to my body instead of my ego
  • Fueling and hydrating better before long runs
  • Remembering that progress is still progress, even if the run doesn’t feel “perfect”

Final Thoughts

If you’re training for a race right now, especially as a beginner or someone returning to running, give yourself grace.

Every mile counts.
Every slow run counts.
Every decision to keep showing up counts.

You do not have to run perfectly to grow.

And sometimes the biggest victory is simply becoming stronger than you were the year before.

Red Flags vs Green Flags: Why Some Signs Are Easy to Miss
Uncategorized

Red Flags vs Green Flags: Why Some Signs Are Easy to Miss

Lulu LeeLeave a comment

This post is not like my typical posts and I appreciate you taking the time to read and maybe share it. In the wake of so many recent domestic violence cases coming up in the news I felt inclined to share some of the early warning signs that both men and women miss in relationships. We live in a fast paced society and sometimes that paired with traumatic/toxic childhoods, it can be hard to see what is healthy and is not healthy in romantic relationships.

Sometimes, the difference between healthy and unhealthy love isn’t obvious. Not because the signs aren’t there—but because of what many people were taught to accept early in life. The way someone experiences love growing up can shape what feels normal later on. If love felt inconsistent, conditional, or emotionally unsafe, those patterns can quietly become familiar. And familiarity can feel a lot like connection.

When Red Flags Feel Normal

For many people, certain behaviors don’t immediately stand out as unhealthy—especially if they’ve seen or experienced them before. Let’s take a closer look.

1. Lack of Respect:

Being dismissed, talked down to, or made to feel “too sensitive” can become easy to overlook when respect wasn’t consistently modeled.

Green flag: Feeling heard, valued, and taken seriously.

2. Poor Communication:

Silence, avoidance, or conversations that turn into blame can feel familiar—but they often leave people feeling unheard.

Green flag: Open, honest conversations where both people feel safe expressing themselves.

3. Control Disguised as Care:

Guilt, pressure, or subtle manipulation can sometimes be mistaken for love or concern.

Green flag: Support that allows space, independence, and personal growth.

4. Disrespecting Boundaries:

Feeling guilty for saying no—or being pushed past personal limits—is a sign that boundaries aren’t being honored.

Green flag: Boundaries are respected without pressure, guilt, or punishment.

5. Hot and Cold Behavior:

Inconsistency can feel intense, but it often creates confusion and anxiety over time.

Green flag: Consistency, reliability, and emotional steadiness.

6. Self-Centered Dynamics:

When everything revolves around one person’s needs, the relationship can start to feel one-sided.

Green flag: Mutual care, empathy, and shared emotional space.

What Makes This So Hard

For people who learned to adapt, people-please, or keep the peace, these patterns don’t always stand out right away. They can feel familiar. Predictable. Even comfortable in a way that’s hard to explain. But familiar doesn’t always mean healthy.

Choosing Something Different

Learning to recognize these patterns is not about blaming the past—it’s about creating awareness in the present. Healthy relationships may feel different at first. Quieter. Steadier. Less overwhelming. But that difference often means something important is finally present. The bottom line is that a healthy relationship should feel like a place to land. Not a place to constantly question, prove and or recover from.

A Gentle Check-In

If this resonated, take a moment to reflect:

  • Which patterns have felt familiar in past relationships?
  • Which green flags feel unfamiliar—but important?
  • What would it look like to choose peace, even if it feels new?

You don’t have to figure everything out today.

But awareness is a powerful place to start.

Let’s Talk

If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts in the comments:

  • Which red flag do you think people overlook the most?
  • Or which green flag changed your perspective on love?

Your voice might help someone else see things more clearly.

Thank you for your continued support and visits.

-Lulu

Are We Each Our Own Universe? Why It’s So Hard to Be Fully Understood
Book Club

Are We Each Our Own Universe? Why It’s So Hard to Be Fully Understood

Lulu LeeLeave a comment

There’s a thought that’s been sitting with me lately:

What if each human being is their own universe?

Not in a literal sense—but in the way we experience the world.

Each of us carries our own history, our own rules, our own way of making meaning out of what happens to us. No two people walk through life with the exact same lens. Even when we share space, share love, share experiences—we are still interpreting it all differently.

And maybe…that’s why it can feel so hard to be fully understood.

We Are All Living in Different “Worlds”

Think about it for a moment.

Everything you believe about yourself—your worth, your safety, your place in the world—was shaped over time. Through childhood. Through relationships. Through moments that stayed with you longer than you expected.

Those experiences didn’t just happen and disappear.

They became the rules of your inner world.

For some, the world feels safe and predictable.

For others, especially those carrying deep emotional wounds or experiences like Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the internal world may operate very differently—where trust feels risky, love feels uncertain, and safety doesn’t come easily.

Same world. Different realities.

Why Words Don’t Always Land the Way We Mean Them

We rely on language to connect, but language has limits.

You might say, “I feel hurt,” and mean something layered, deep, and rooted in years of experience.

Someone else might hear that and think of a passing moment—something small, something temporary.

The words are the same, but the meaning isn’t.

Because when we speak, we’re expressing something from our universe—and when someone listens, they’re interpreting it through theirs.

The Gap Between Being Heard and Being Understood

There’s a difference between someone hearing you and someone truly understanding you.

You can explain yourself clearly.
You can be open, vulnerable, and honest.

And still feel…missed.

Not because the other person doesn’t care—but because they don’t have the same internal reference points. They haven’t lived your exact experiences. They don’t carry your exact meanings.

And there are parts of you that simply cannot be translated perfectly into words.

So What Does Real Understanding Look Like?

Maybe it’s not about someone saying,
“I know exactly how you feel.”

Maybe it’s quieter than that.

Maybe it sounds like:
“I may not fully understand, but I’m here.”
“Help me see it the way you do.”
“I believe you.”

Real understanding isn’t perfect. It’s intentional.

It’s someone choosing to step closer to your world, even if they can’t fully live in it.

A Shift in Expectation

What if the goal isn’t to be completely understood?

What if the goal is to be seen—honestly, gently, and without dismissal?

To be understood enough that you don’t feel alone in your experience.

And to offer that same grace to others—recognizing that they, too, are navigating a world shaped by things we may never fully see.

Final Thought

If we are each our own universe, then connection isn’t about becoming the same.

It’s about learning how to visit each other’s worlds with care.

And maybe that’s where healing begins

December Book Club: Saying “Yes” to Courage, Creativity, and Growth
Book Club

December Book Club: Saying “Yes” to Courage, Creativity, and Growth

Lulu LeeLeave a comment

This month, I’ve been deep into Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes — and let me tell you, this book could not have arrived at a better time. It’s honest, funny, bold, and full of the kind of energy that nudges you out of your comfort zone in the best way possible.

I’m almost done with it as this post goes live, and I already know it’s one of those books I’ll revisit whenever I need a reminder to choose myself, to stretch, to be brave, and to embrace opportunities even when they feel intimidating. Shonda writes with a voice that feels familiar — like a friend sitting across from you telling the truth you’ve been avoiding. And this month, I needed that voice.

Interested in Reading Along?

If you’re interested in reading along with me, here are the versions I recommend:

What “Yes” Has Meant for Me This Month

Reading Year of Yes during the holiday season has felt surprisingly grounding. It’s pushed me to think about what I want next, what I’m afraid of, and where I’ve been shrinking myself out of habit rather than choice.

And it’s reminded me how important it is to say “yes” to the things that bring me joy — including my writing.

Which brings me to the second half of this month’s update…

Tidewalker Series Update: Book Two Is Taking Shape

Book Two has been a steady work in progress these last few weeks, and Year of Yes has absolutely inspired the way I’m approaching the deeper emotional layers of this story.

Here’s what I’ve been working on:

🔹 Tweaking Ezra’s Internal Conflicts

Ezra is growing, stepping into responsibility, and feeling torn between his father’s expectations, his own dreams, and the love he shares with Neri. I’ve been sharpening the moments where he questions himself, struggles to find balance, or wants to belong in both worlds. His emotional journey is becoming richer and more nuanced.

🔹 Deepening Grandmother Fatu’s Backstory

Her presence is becoming more powerful. I’ve been exploring:

  • how she shaped Ezra’s childhood,
  • her connection to the tidewalker world,
  • the truth behind the shell she gave him,
  • and how her story ties both worlds together in ways Ezra is only beginning to understand.

🔹 Building Tension Between the Two Worlds

This has been one of my favorite parts to develop. The differences and misunderstandings between Neri’s world and Ezra’s — the traditions, expectations, and pressures — are all becoming clearer and more dramatic. This tension will shape much of Book Two’s conflict.

What’s Coming in Early 2026

Writing this book feels like saying “yes” to myself — yes to imagination, yes to creativity, yes to finishing something that matters deeply to me.

In early 2026, I’ll be sharing:

  • sneak peeks of new characters,
  • more world-building details,
  • and updates as the story evolves and the two worlds collide.

If December has taught me anything, it’s that growth happens when we stop waiting for fear to settle — and move forward anyway.

Book Club

Spotlight on a Poem: Together

Lulu LeeLeave a comment

The power of words

When I write, I am not alone. My words are carried by voices that came before me—the ancestors, the marchers, the mothers, the dreamers. Every poem I create is born out of this truth: we do not endure in isolation, but together.

One of the poems in my upcoming collection is titled “Together.” It’s a piece that reminds me how survival has never been the story of one, but of many. It weaves memory, history, and the shared strength that has allowed us to move forward as a people.

An Excerpt from “Together”

From the villages of our ancestors,
from the ships that tried to swallow us,
from the fields and the cities,
the marches and the prayers—
we have endured.

The Story Behind the Poem

I wrote “Together” while reflecting on the continuity of struggle and resilience. I thought about how the past lives in us. The journey from the shores of Africa to the present day has been marked by unimaginable trials. It has also been marked by courage and faith.

This poem came to me as a chorus of voices, echoing across time. It’s about remembering that our strength is collective, that we’ve always leaned on one another, even in the darkest moments.

Why This Poem Matters

“Proud” marked the beginning of my journey into poetry. “Together” represents what I’ve come to understand more deeply over time. Survival is not just individual. It is communal. We are bound by shared memory, and it is in that binding that we find resilience.

In my collection of 40 poems, each piece speaks to a different facet of that legacy—pain, defiance, beauty, survival. But “Together” is one of the poems that most clearly says: we are still here.

A Journey Shared

This poem, like the others, is part of a larger journey toward wholeness. It reminds me that writing is not only a personal act. It is also a communal offering. It serves as an invitation to remember, to heal, and to celebrate resilience.

I hope “Together” resonates with you as much as it does with me. I invite you to stay with me. I will continue sharing these poems. One story, one heartbeat, at a time.