Book Club

Are We Each Our Own Universe? Why It’s So Hard to Be Fully Understood

There’s a thought that’s been sitting with me lately:

What if each human being is their own universe?

Not in a literal sense—but in the way we experience the world.

Each of us carries our own history, our own rules, our own way of making meaning out of what happens to us. No two people walk through life with the exact same lens. Even when we share space, share love, share experiences—we are still interpreting it all differently.

And maybe…that’s why it can feel so hard to be fully understood.


We Are All Living in Different “Worlds”

Think about it for a moment.

Everything you believe about yourself—your worth, your safety, your place in the world—was shaped over time. Through childhood. Through relationships. Through moments that stayed with you longer than you expected.

Those experiences didn’t just happen and disappear.

They became the rules of your inner world.

For some, the world feels safe and predictable.

For others, especially those carrying deep emotional wounds or experiences like Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the internal world may operate very differently—where trust feels risky, love feels uncertain, and safety doesn’t come easily.

Same world. Different realities.


Why Words Don’t Always Land the Way We Mean Them

We rely on language to connect, but language has limits.

You might say, “I feel hurt,” and mean something layered, deep, and rooted in years of experience.

Someone else might hear that and think of a passing moment—something small, something temporary.

The words are the same, but the meaning isn’t.

Because when we speak, we’re expressing something from our universe—and when someone listens, they’re interpreting it through theirs.


The Gap Between Being Heard and Being Understood

There’s a difference between someone hearing you and someone truly understanding you.

You can explain yourself clearly.
You can be open, vulnerable, and honest.

And still feel…missed.

Not because the other person doesn’t care—but because they don’t have the same internal reference points. They haven’t lived your exact experiences. They don’t carry your exact meanings.

And there are parts of you that simply cannot be translated perfectly into words.


So What Does Real Understanding Look Like?

Maybe it’s not about someone saying,
“I know exactly how you feel.”

Maybe it’s quieter than that.

Maybe it sounds like:
“I may not fully understand, but I’m here.”
“Help me see it the way you do.”
“I believe you.”

Real understanding isn’t perfect. It’s intentional.

It’s someone choosing to step closer to your world, even if they can’t fully live in it.


A Shift in Expectation

What if the goal isn’t to be completely understood?

What if the goal is to be seen—honestly, gently, and without dismissal?

To be understood enough that you don’t feel alone in your experience.

And to offer that same grace to others—recognizing that they, too, are navigating a world shaped by things we may never fully see.


Final Thought

If we are each our own universe, then connection isn’t about becoming the same.

It’s about learning how to visit each other’s worlds with care.

And maybe that’s where healing begins

Book Club

Book Club Reflection: Finding Perspective with The Midnight Library

A few years ago, in the middle of the pandemic, my family was carrying more stress than we knew how to name. Like so many households, our routines were disrupted, uncertainty felt constant, and my kids were overwhelmed in ways that showed up quietly — in moods, in questions, in exhaustion.

Around that time, a good friend recommended a book for our family book club: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. We decided to read it together, not knowing just how much it would shift the way we were thinking about our lives.

If you want to check it out, here’s a link to the book:

👉 https://a.co/d/5bWxTcP

What stood out most wasn’t just the story itself, but the conversations it sparked in our home.

Reading It Together Changed How We Saw Our Lives

At its core, The Midnight Library invites readers to think about the many versions of life we imagine for ourselves — the what ifs, the roads not taken, the choices that could have led us somewhere else. During a time when everything felt heavy, that idea resonated deeply with all of us.

As a family, we talked about regret, disappointment, and the temptation to compare our current lives to imagined alternatives. We talked about how easy it is to get caught up in what could have been and miss the value of what is.

What the book helped us see — gently and without judgment — is that even the hardest parts of our lives still hold meaning. That the life we are living, imperfect and unfinished, deserves our attention and care.

A Lesson That Still Stays With Us

Years later, we still reference this book from time to time. When one of us feels stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed, the reminder comes back:

Don’t forget to take in the life you have.

That doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine. It means learning how to hold gratitude and struggle at the same time. It means appreciating growth, resilience, and connection — even when circumstances are far from ideal.

For my kids especially, this book offered language for feelings they didn’t yet have words for. It helped them understand that stress and uncertainty don’t mean failure — they’re part of being human.

Why I Still Recommend This Book

I recommend The Midnight Library not because it offers easy answers, but because it encourages thoughtful reflection. It opens the door to meaningful conversations — especially within families — about choice, perspective, and how we learn to make peace with the lives we’re living.

It was exactly the book we needed at that moment in time. And looking back, I’m grateful we read it together.

Sometimes the right book doesn’t change your circumstances — it changes how you see them. And that can make all the difference.

What are your favorite books? Why?

Book Club

Empowering Children Through Literature

I have always loved reading, my grandmother taught me to read before I started grade school. She was big on education and that is probably because she was not formally educated. She learned to read and write after she married my grandfather. She fell in love with learning and did her best to share that with me. I believe the first book I read was “My Book of Bible Stories”…this is a book published by the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Organization. I was raised in the organization and was a practicing member up till about 2020. I left for personal reasons but I learned a lot about the importance of using critical thinking skills. My critical thinking skills were sharpen because of the books I was exposed to in my formative years.

One of the most formative books I read was “Their Eyes Were Watching God” By Zora Neale Hurston. The writing style was done in a conversational manner and it was raw in nature. Ms. Hurston use of colloquial dialect and standard English was unique and this was seen as controversial by some. The main character, Janine was strong and independent. She was not afraid to challenge the status quo. For a black woman in those days, this was considered a taboo.

I fell in love with this book in my senior year of high school. This also the book that led to me taking a break from writing regularly. My English teacher, assigned this book and we were also asked to complete an in class essay. I was her student teaching assistant that year. I took that role very seriously and I helped my peers who struggled with understanding some of the dialogue. I took pride in helping my peers while also working on my essay during class. It was one of my favorite experiences in high school. Everything changed when that same teacher accused me of cheating on the essay. She had asked me to be her teaching assistant. She accused me despite the essay being done in class. I never took it home with me. She reported me to the principal for cheating and was going to give me an F for the assignment. Thankfully, though my mom fought with me to get the grade I had earned.

The principal sided with me and my mom and I was given the grade I deserved. When asked why she believed I cheated. My English teacher noted that she did not believe I was smart enough. She doubted a girl like me understood the nuances of the material. Because I was an ESOL student, she did not believe I truly understood English. She assumed I must have copied my analysis from an outside source. That incident shock my confidence and for years I shied away from writing for fun. It took years of work on my self esteem for me to feel safe again as a writer.

I decided to share this. Educators must remember the type of influence they have on the students. This influence extends to both the classrooms and school hallways. I still love reading and I have passed the baton to my children. They all love reading and writing. We once had a family book club. It was a wonderful time for us as a family.

Reading is not only fun, it is a necessity that we must keep encouraging. Below, is a list of books I have read and shared with my kids.

Othello, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Gift, Midnight Library, The Bible, The Stranger, The Contender. A Streetcar Named Desire, The Great Gatsby, and The Glass Menagerie.

The above list is simply a small sample of books I have read and enjoyed. I have a much longer list. My children are into fantasy books, historical fiction novels, and non-fictional novels. We love to have discussions about the themes of books we have read.